Oh, Brother

Went to troppo last night (wow, something different). For once I didn't drive, so I got fairly drunk. Had to get up at 7 to ref but didn't really care. Pity I was the only one drinking. 4 people there and 3 drivers. Actually stayed for the ugly lights, though I was keen to kick on at mojos, nobody else was. I vaguely remembering asking a security guard if he thought the other guys should come with me to mojos...I think he was on my side (though he probably just wanted that drunk goose to get out of his club).

More talent at troppo than there has been lately, I wonder if that's due to the BB eviction parties? I hope so - coz that means we've got more of it. A couple of the times we've hit troppo lately it's blown, and at 1am it just died. Last night I don't think that was so much the case though, 1am rolled by without me noticing (that's a very short '1'...what font is this again?).

Shoot, the battery in my mouse just died....

Anyhoo, night peaked at 4 people, though only 3 went to trops, which is the normal number these days. Pete, myself, and either Keegs, Neil or Coote. Troppo pair plus guest. Good time though. As per usual I didn't do anything with a girl. Usually I seem to have some possible interest but no balls to try, or enough self-doubt to convince myself that I'm misinterpreting even the most obvious signals (was always good at that). Or maybe I'm just too scared to act on any, though of what I don't know. Perhaps it's just another situation I can get into where somebody can judge me? Regardless, last night I was actually feeling confident and somewhat intoxicated, though I still can't get into the 'the worst that can happen is she'll move away' frame of mind...I always care. When really the worst that can happen is that her big maori boyfriend and his bros...well, use your imagination. Actually, last night I don't think I got so much as a single glance...well, apart from the usual glancing around...nothing that I even felt could've been aimed at me. Other nights I at least get that....even if I don't do anything, it's nice to have that interest (remember that stage anybody?), I think that's what bugged me more than anything. That, and the realisation I get every time I go out that the singles scene has absolutely no place for me - I just don't fit in.

Or perhaps I'd rather that I didn't HAVE to fit in....


Perhaps I haven't hooked up because I don't want to, not really.........


..not with those girls anyway anway.



Still, it'd be nice to feel like I'm attractive (I'm not THAT bad looking, or THAT bad a dancer, or have THAT bad dress sence......am/have I?).....Pete at least got some hot girl dancing up against him, even if she was just teasing. And what was with that Asian anyway?

Still, at least Trops hurt less than it usually does, although certain songs still hit a nerve, and in the philosophical nature of the morning-after I was (like I do every day) wondering if I'm doing the right thing. And when the only time I'm ever happy is when I'm doing something I know I shouldn't be doing (read her blog if you don't know what I'm talking about).....

Still, was good to cut loose for a little bit...well, as much as I'm capable of cutting loose. I never was able to totally cut loose, just not me I guess. Good night was had though, even if it was 3am before I knew it.

Be interesting to see if different BB evictees attract different crowds. I can understand there being more girls at Karen. But as for her hot daughter, forgotten her name - when she gets evicted, will it be a bit of a wangfest (well, even more than usual)? Time will tell...